Fear and the little black book

I was on my regular 5.30am walk last week when I came upon a little black book.

On this particular morning I decided to stop at three park benches in New Farm park to do some push ups, dips and squats. This is not something I usually do. I had just cancelled my gym membership and I wanted to keep my strength training going.

The first bench I stopped at, had this little black book sitting forlornly on it. At first I didn’t want to touch it because it looked like a diary and diaries are way too personal. So I just let it sit there whilst I did my exercises.

Curiosity got the better of me

As I got up to go curiosity got the better of me. So I picked it up to see if it had any contact details inside. I opened it up and all I could make out was a name and a phone number (I didn’t have my glasses with me).

I pondered what I should do and decided I would leave it on the bench. Surely the person would eventually recall where they had left it and would come back to reclaim it.

I continued on my walk but wrestled with my decision to leave it there. Why was I so reluctant to take responsibility of this little black book; what was I afraid of?  As I pondered this question I was amazed, and I must admit a little bit ashamed, as to where my mind went with this.

Don’t get involved!

I had a voice saying to me “don’t get involved Claire, someone may have planted it there to rope you into ringing them! It may be one of those homeless men you see sitting on the bench from time to time. You never know what might happen if you call them!”

Then my heart centred voice dropped in and told me to stop being so silly. It directed me to connect with the very first thought I had when I saw the book. This thought was absolutely clear to me. I had instinctively thought that I needed to ensure the book was returned to its owner.

So I retraced my steps back to the park bench and retrieved it.

When I got home and put my glasses on I realized there was an address on the second page and the lady ‘Nan’ lived in Bardon.

I was meant to find this little black book!

I was reluctant to look at any of the other pages in the book. I know I wouldn’t want a stranger reading my personal information. However, I couldn’t help quickly flipping through the pages and that’s when I realized I was meant to find this little black book! Throughout the book, on many Thursdays, my name appeared. Meeting with Claire at 11.30am, meeting with Claire at 12.30pm and so on. Even the spelling of Claire was the same as mine. For an instant I wondered if I knew this lady and whether it was me who was supposed to meet her. But no, it was just a sign that I was meant to find it and give it back.

So I wrote a letter to Nan (you know how much I love writing letters) and popped it in the mail. In the meantime I decided I would send Nan a text message, to let her know I had found her book, incase she was stressing about where it was.

This is the message I received back “Oh Claire I can’t tell you how grateful I am… thank you so much for taking the trouble. You are a saint!! You have really helped me..I have pulled my car apart, rung everywhere and prayed for a good Samaritan to find it!!”

Feeling happy!

I was so happy after reading that message. And so thankful that I was able to put my fear aside and tune into what my heart was telling me to do.

Whenever you are feeling fearful over a decision you have to make, always take the time to question your fear. Why are you feeling that way, are you being rational, is the fear ego based and what does that fear look like? See if you can put that fear aside in order to create some space in your head. Fear constricts your mind. By doing this you will open up your mind and hopefully tap into what your very first instinctive thoughts were about the circumstance/issue/problem.

Don’t let fear stop you from living a life attuned to your soul.

Happiness is when your behaviors and actions align with your authentic self.

Be happy, colour the world.

Claire