Why staying connected is so vital to happiness

I was listening to ABC radio conversations this week on my way to give a happiness presentation to the staff at Cancer Council Queensland (CCQ). It was so ironic because ABC journalist Sarah Kanowski was chatting to Hugh Mackay a social researcher. The topic of conversation was how the state of the nation begins in your street and how staying connected was the key to flourishing.

Hugh said that loneliness was a clanging alarm bell. It was a sign that we are living in a socially fragmented society. In the near future one Australian household in every three will have a person living alone in it. And whilst this in itself was not a predictor to loneliness, it certainly upped the odds of loneliness occurring.

Loneliness is a step toward emotional distress, which can lead to anxiety

We all live in our own ‘boxes’, often shutting ourselves away from our neighbours. We spend a lot of time on social media and less and less time communicating in person with people. This separation from face to face connection pushes us further inwards, contributing to a lost sense of community.

Hugh reminded his listeners that we are herd animals; we are social beings who need to stay connected with others in a compassionate way. When we make compassion our modus operandi, starting in our very own neighbourhood, we begin to create safe, thriving and happy communities. Compassion is the key to treating loneliness and anxiety.

The last question that Sarah Kanowski asked Hugh was this “now that you are 80 what is the most meaningful thing in your life?” Hugh’s immediate response was personal relationships.

I had all of this information swimming around in my head as I headed into CCQ and at the end of my presentation a wonderful thing happened that brought this information to life. One of the participants called Bec came up to me at the end of my talk to look at my Happiness bank book. As she browsed through the pages she looked up at me and said “I have a wonderful idea can I buy one please”. Her idea was this:

The Sisterhood of the Traveling Happy Art Book

Bec has a small group of long term girl friends who have been separated due to study, work commitments and other life circumstances. Face to face connection is not possible due to location and distance. Therefore her idea was to use the Happy Art book as a way of staying connected. Bec would begin by reading the book and then writing a personal note in it. The note would be related to happiness and most likely something very pertinent to the next friend who was going to receive it. She would then send it on and request that the next friend do exactly the same. As each person received the book, another story would be unfolding connecting each person to each other in a very special and meaningful way.

I thought this was brilliant and I couldn’t keep the smile from my face.  It wasn’t lost on me that this was what Hugh had been talking about. We need to constantly come up with ways to keep personal relationships alive and thriving whilst living in our fragmented society?

I am going to wait with baited breath to see how Bec’s rendition of the Sisterhood of the Travelling Happy Art book unfolds.

Staying connected to others is vital to happiness

Whenever you are feeling lonely, sad, anxious or down try to look outwards and not inwards. I know it is a big ask and the last thing you will feel like doing but if you put aside your agenda and reach out and connect with someone else you may just forget about your problems long enough to experience a little ray of sunshine.

Be happy, colour the word with your presence.

Claire