Have you ever wanted to feel hopeful but were too scared to incase you were let down.
I used to think like that, until one day a girlfriend at work put a whole new spin on being hopeful.
Nic had been for a job interview and was waiting patiently for the outcome. One week later she was still waiting and someone at work said to her have you given up hope. I will never forget Nic’s answer; “No way, why would I give up hope? Everyday when I picture myself in that job I feel happy. I want to hold onto that feeling for as long as I can. As I see it I have two choices. One is to think I havn’t got the job which will make me feel miserable. The other is to remain hopeful which makes me excited. If I do get the job I get to be happy even longer and if I don’t get the job I can feel unhappy at that point in time. I see no reason in dragging out the unhappiness and giving up hope until I get that phone call.”
I loved that answer, it made perfect sense to me.
Life will not always dish up roses
I reflected on all the times I had made myself unhappy thinking about worst case scenarios because I was too scared to be hopeful for fear of being disappointed. Biologically we are wired to focus on the negative however, we have the choice to change those thought patterns and to change our story. This doesn’t mean life will always dish up roses; there will always be challenges to face! But what it does mean is that when those challenges arise you will be in a much better state of mind to deal with them.
Happiness is about being realistic and hopeful. Hopeful of a great outcome but also realistic to be ready if and when the great outcome doesn’t eventuate.
Replace worry with hope
The next time you find yourself worrying about something that hasn’t happened, say to yourself:
Is my worry based on fact or am I making up stories in my head before anything real has happened?
Is there a more hopeful way of looking at this situation that will make me feel better?
If there is a more hopeful way play out that story in your head instead of the negative one. Keep doing this over and over again and see how you feel. Positive thoughts release chemicals into your body that reduce your blood pressure, slow down your breathing and open up your mind to more possibilities. By doing this you increase your happiness.
If and when the time comes where your hope has to be replaced by an unwanted reality you will be forced to face the disappointment and pain then. But up until that point in time make happiness your focus not fear.
Life is way to short to be unhappy about something that may never happen.
Be happy, colour the world.
Claire
Your blog was just what I needed today. Today I started working an extra day. I was excited because I finally thought I would have the opportunity to get on top of the work that I just didn’t have enough hours in the day to complete. As soon as I arrived, everything went pear shaped, and that organised day I had planned for myself went out the window. I felt doomed. I always try to make time to read your blog as it always, without fail, gives me an arhhh moment or food for thought, or something I can take and use immediately. You made me turn that doom into hope. Hope that my extra day will bring me relief from my work stress, hope that I am making a difference and hope that the work I am doing today will make for a more manageable day tomorrow. Thank you my friend.